Romancing the Student

Is there any romance in students nowadays or has it all turned into drunken grunts and nods towards the neon exit door for a quicky and a cigarette afterwards.

Good question, is romance dead in college or hidden beneath last weeks Dominos pizza boxes. Lets examine the DIT campus break down for further info. Who I am doesn’t matter, I wish to stay anonymous for this article to save face. Literally.

Well DIT has a population of 20,000 students give or take, I’m bad at maths so we’ll have a sliding scale of

1.] Scoring Heaven, 2.] Even Stevens and 3.]Sausage Factory/Fanny fetale.

Aungier Street - The newest and biggest of the DIT’s has what I would call scoring heaven potential but if you are a culchie knock it down to a mediocre as fashion decorum is essential to score with the clientele therein, new clothes everyday essential. Not for the tenaciously thrifty or shower in a can type of people. Bizeeness, journos, media and the future suity types study here.

Bolton Street - The bogger haven and industrious engineers den of D North side marks a poorly sausage factory rating from my point of view. Its like that veritable end of nite desperation dive where you see a lonesome lassy on her own but she has been spied by another competitor. Do you a.) keep your dignity and walk home alone, or b.) try to score her by frantically competing verbally with the other guy with one arm braced on the bar to prevent collapse. Bolton Street needs nae deserves more female students desperately. Necks crane at the slightest female presence. Observe starvation at its best or worst.

Cathal Brugha Street - Interesting one this. More girls than guys but still a scoring heaven if not for the flesh but for the food cooked by present culinary students. Go try cathal brugha street food, it will scintillate the pallet more than any dodgy breakfast roll. And food is the way to a guys heart. Get cooking. But the goddamn stairs will kill you, the neverending staircase, does anyone know where it actually goes? Stairway to Heaven.

Kevin Street – E = MC something or other. Haven’t been up this direction in a while but its kind of fairly evenly distributed so even stevens. But still its got a swimming pool and for any voyeurs among us who want to feast their eyes on Irish milk bottle tan of students male or female it’s a good place to go. But mind the floating plasters, ah no they have this sorted out now.

Mountjoy Square – The arty students among us with the intense artistic genius to derive pleasure from the most inanimate of objects, and it is definitely a scoring heaven for lads or even a fanny fatale. Hmm. But does anyone know where it is? Its like that Zoolander expression “But how do they fit the kids into the school”, I will never know. Portland Row has its own elite who scowl at your mere suggestion that they study in Mountjoy Square. Don’t tempt fate or you will get bitten.

Now there are other campuses but c’mon don’t have word limit for the 50 other ones, so what does this all have to do with romance, what does anything have to do with romance.

Well your college environment can shape the way you view people and sometimes compatibility comes into it. What the fluck is that, a 6 pack and a naggin and anyone is compatible, right or roysch for Southside campuses?

What am I trying to say, well think outside of your stereotypical niche in your college and explore the vastness of Dublin. Some students finish their study having gone to only a small number of places due to handiness. Venture across that river and see what the other side has to offer not only in watering holes but artistic and architectural richness. There’s more to do besides drinking, it’s a brilliant part but try everything once and you never know, romance could tap you on the back looking for a light or to beat the living crap out of you for 50 cent.

Space Cadet J